A Captain's Pain
by BadgerInMySoup
Summary: When a horrible tragedy hits Charlie, he turns to alcohol to help him through it. Can Connie help ease the pain, or is Charlie gone from the ducks forever? Rating T for later chapters
1. The Terrible News

This story is told from Charlie's POV.

Me and ducks were playing a game on the old ice pond when a police car pulled up. We all stood there starring at it. The last time a car had come while we were playing. Gordon Bombay stepped out. A man and a women stepped out of the car and walked over to the edge of the pond. ''Is there a Charlie Conway here?'' the women yelled. I skated over to her, the team close behind. ''I'm Charlie Conway.'' I said, once I was close enough. ''You need to come with us son.'' the guy said. ''What's wrong?'' I asked them. ''Come on Charlie, just come with us.'' the women said. ''What's wrong!'' I yelled. They looked at each other then at me. ''There was a car accident today. One car swerved off the street into the forest. It hit a tree and burst into flames. The lisence plate was saved and we discovered the car was registered to a Casey Conway. She didn't make it.'' the women said. I stood there frozen. My mom was dead? ''No you're lying. You're wrong! It can't be true! It can't!'' I screamed. I started to feel dizzy. Everything was spinning. Then there was black.

I awoke in a hospital bed with no recollection how I got there. All I remember was the news of my mom's death. The tears come before I can stop them and pretty soon I'm sobbing. My mom was my life. She was my number one fan. I loved her. I hear the door open and try to stop my tears. I look up and see Connie standing there. ''Hey Charlie.'' she says quietly. I just nod at her, not trusting my self to speak. ''You can cry around me Charlie. I promise not to tell anyone.'' she says. She comes to the bed and gives me a hug. I start to cry on her shoulder as she rubs my back soothingly. My mom was gone and she wasn't coming back.

The funeral was small, just some family, Coach, and the ducks. My aunt Sally came up and spoke about how loving my mother was. Was, I was stil having a hard time with that. Throughout the whole ceremony, Connie never left my side. Ever since this morning, she was glued to me.

_I sat in the living room of the apartment. It's the last time I'll ever be here. It was sold after mom died. I can't seem to stop the tears as they come again in full force. I can remember being 5 years old and telling my mom I'll be the next Wayne Gretsky. She supported me then and she always did. I hear the door open and I look up and see Connie come inside. She smiles at me and sits down. ''What are you doing here Cons?'' I asked her. ''Just wanted to make sure you're ok. I can't worry about my best friend?'' She asked me. I smirked, not being able to smile fully. ''Thanks Cons.'' I said. She just smilied. _

More family members came up and began to talk about her. Pretty soon I feel tears slidding down my cheeks. Before anyone can see, I jump from my seat and bolt out the door. I sit down on a nearby bench and put my face in my hands. It wasn't fair. My mom was young, she still had a whole life ahead of her. Why did God have to take her. I try to stop the tears, after all I am the captain. I have to be strong. I feel an arm on my shoulder and look up to see Coach starring down at me. ''It's ok to cry Charlie. You don't have to be so strong.'' he says. He sits down and I burry my face into his suit.

The will was read and according to it, my mom left me in care with Coach! I would be able to stay in Minnesota with my friends. At least it wasn't the end of the world. I moved into Coach's apartment a couple days after the funeral. The whole team threw a big party in honor of it, but I wasn't in the mood for celebration. Before anyone could notice, I slipped out and went to the cemetary. I arrived at her grave and sat down on the cold ground. I felt safe here. I soon heard footsteps and I looked up, not surprised to see Connie sitting next to me. ''How did you find me?'' I asked her. ''I saw you slip out. I'd figured you'd come here.'' she says. ''When will the pain go away?'' I asked her. ''It never does but soon it gets easier to bear.'' she tells me. ''I feel like I'm falling, like this is some horrible nightmare and I want to wake up. When I pinch myself, it doesn't work. I'm still here. The nightmare's real.'' I said. Connie takes my hand in hers and rests her head on my shoulder. ''No matter what, I'll be here to catch you Charlie. I won' let to fall through.'' she tells me. We sit there holding hands at my mom's grave for the rest of the night until Coach comes to find us. We arrive home and, before she leaves, Connie kisses my cheek and gives me a hug. ''I'll always be here if you need me, ok Spazway?'' she asks. I nod my head and smile a little. I watch as she gets in the car and ten I go back inside. Laying on my bed I fall into an uneasy sleep. I see my mom reach out for me and I jump instanly waking up. I begin to cry again, never being able to stop.

AN- I know kind of a downer. I'll try to make it better. Please review I want all criticism, comments, and ideas. Press the button and make my day!


	2. Depression and the Cure

It's been a week since mom died. School has been more boring then usual. After all I only did good for her, so she could see me graduate. The ducks and I have been drifting apart. I'll only talk to either Connie or Adam. I look at the clock on the desk and see that it's almost practice time. I grab my stuff and leave.

The team is already there when I arrive. I go to the locker room and get my stuff on. I head out to the ice and practice begins. My game as been off ever since mom died. I try to play better for the team, but my heart just isn't in it anymore. I miss an pass directed strait to me and fail to get the puck into Goldbergs net. I'm relieved when practice is over and I can leave. The ducks all make plans to go to the movies but I decline. I walk back home.

''I'm worried abotu Charlie. He's just not himsepf anymore.'' Connie said as they were waiting for the movie to start. ''I know. He just seems out of it.'' Julie said. The others quickly agreed. ''What do we do to get him out of this mood?'' Guy asked. ''We can't preasure him guys, that's the last thing we can do. We have to wait for him to be ready.'' Adam said as the lights dimmed. Connie sighed. She was worried about Charlie. Ever since his mom died he had been so out of it. She knew that it took some time to get over stuff like that but still she couldn't help but be worried.

I sat on my bed listening to the music blasting out of my sterio. I glance at the picture on my night stand of me and mom on my 17th birthday. It was the last picture of us together. I hear someone pounding on the door and muted the music. ''Who is it?'' I yelled. ''Charlie are you hungry at all?'' Coach shouted. ''I'm fine.'' I shouted back before turning my music up again.

Connie raced over to Charlies house after the movie wanting to talk to him. She arrived at his house and Gordon let her in. He ran up to Charlie's door and banged on it.

''What now!'' I shouted angry at the yet another interuption. Didn't anyone get I wanted to be left alone! When they didn't answer I got up and threw the door open, my angry expression fading as I saw Connie there. ''Hey Cons, what do you want?'' I asked dully. ''Want to watch a movie downstaris?'' she asked, smiling hopefully. I nodded and she grabbed my hand tugging me downstairs. We sat on the couch and I hit play. Connie decided on an old childhood favorite between us. Rock-a-doodle was our favorite movie growing up and the two of us would watch it together all the time. Connie layed her head on my shoulder and I wrapped my arm around her shoulders. She snuggled into my embrace and I smilied slightly. This felt nice. We just sat there quietly not making a sound and it was perfect.

The next night I heard about a party being thrown for to celebrate the end of midterms. I decided to go so the ducks wouldn't give me those worried glances anymore. After all, when did Charlie Conway pass up an opportunity to go party? Never!

That night I entered the place where the party was and looked around. It was so boring here. I spotted the puch bowl and walked over. I saw a couple of guys poor something into it. i took a sip and found it strong tasting. They had spiked it. I drank the reat in one gulp and poored somemore into my cup. This will help my bad mood and take away the pain I thought as I downed another cup.


	3. The Duck's Discovery

It's been a week since I started drinking. The alcohol has helped my depressed mood. I'm no longer withdrawn from the team. I've been playing better in hockey and my grade have improved. I might be able to graduate this year. I know the team is happy about my mood change except Connie and Coach. They're a little worried that I was able to uplift so easily.

It's practice and I am on fire. I've been able to get passed Julie in net an dam able to get every pass aimed at me. I'm laughing, having a great time when suddenly I'm hit with a horrible headache. I feeli like my skull is splitting in half and I sink to the ice in pain. Connie and Adam are at my side in seconds. They help me up and bring me to the team box. I see Connie's worried face and try to reasure her but the pain is too strong. I wrench myself from their grasp and head to the locker room. After making sure no one is around I oepn my locker and take a bottle of whisky out of my bag. I drink half in one gulp and immediately my headache disapears. I get up to go back to pracitce. I enter the arena and quickly reasure them I'm ok.

After practice, I'm getting ready to go home when Connie comes up to me. ''Hey Spazway, you want to go to the mall with me?'' she asked. I was going to decline but it would be too weird if I did. ''Alright let's go.'' I said. Before we left I filled my water bottle with the left over whisky. When we get to the mall, Connie drags me into American Eagle despite my protests. ''Connie, I don't see why I have to wait for you.'' I said as she entered the changing room. ''Because you're my bestest friend and you love me.'' she said. I chuckled. ''That and Julie couldn't come.'' she said stepping out. ''I knew it!'' I exclaimed. We left the store and went to Gamestop. ''So what is this punishment for dragging you to a clothing store. I have to be in a video game store?'' Connie asked and I browsed the store. ''You take forever to look and then you never find a game you like!'' she exclaims. ''Same thing with you and clothes.'' I shot back. ''Well you take forever and need to read the back of every cover until you know it by heart!'' she said. ''Well you need to try on every piece of clothing in the store before you say that it's not what you're looking for.'' I said. ''Well I want to wear something nice and what I like. After all some people actually care about what they wear.'' she said. ''And some people actually care what games they play.'' I said. She responded by sticking her tongue out at me.

I walked Connie home and when we reached her door she turned to me and said ''Thanks Spazway. I haven't that much fun with you in a long time.'' Then she reached up and kissed me on the cheek. She blushed when I looked at her and hurried inside. I touched my cheek and smilied a little before heading home.

I enter my house my head right up to my room as the headache comes back. I close the door and open my dresser where I keep all the alcohol. I garb a bittle of beer and gulp down a few sips. Soon my headache is gone and there is the buzz that I love so much. After a few more sips I black out.

I wake up the next morning with another hangover. I head to the bathroom and take an asprin. I go back to my room and put the beer bottle back in my dresser and make my bed. I head downstaris and smell the bacon and eggs Coach made for breakfast. I eat a little not wanting to lose it all in about 10 minutes. I decided to go for a skate and get ready to leave. Before I go, I poor the left over beer into my water bottle.

I skate over to the old basketball court where we have played many games before. I spot the team playing a game and decide to watch. A time-out is called and Connie and Julie head my way. ''Come play Spazway.'' Julie said. I shook my head. ''Don't feel like it.'' I said. ''I'm thirsty.'' Connie said grabbing my water bottle before I can stop her. She takes a sip and quickly spits it out. She looks questionatly at the bottle then at me. ''What is this crap Charlie?'' she asked me. Julie grabbed the bottle and sniffed at it. ''It's beer!'' she exclaimed. By now the whole team has crowded aroun dus and they all looked at me shocked. I tired to skate away but Adam stepped in front of me. ''What are you doing with beer?'' he asked me. ''It's none of your damn business now leave me the hell alone!'' I shouted at him. I pushed him down and skated away drowning out the shouts of the ducks.

I arrived home to see Coach waiting for me. ''Hey Coach.'' I said. ''What are you doing drinking beer Charlie?'' he asked me. ''It's none of your business.'' I siad marching up to my room. I opened up my dressor and discovered my stash gone. I raced back downstairs. ''Where do you get off taking away that stuff!'' I shouted. ''I can take away anythign I want if it's going to hurt you. I'm your guardian and while you live under my roof there will be no drinking!'' he shouted back. ''You might be my guardian but you're not my parent. I don't have to listen to you.'' I shouted. I ran to my room and packed a bag. I was leaving this place. I opened my window and snuck out.

I was walking the street when I spotted a couple of guys I knew from school. They were the ones who gave me all that alcohol. ''Hey Pete, Ron I need a place to stay for a while. Can I stay with you?'' I asked them. They took me to an old shack where a bunch of their buddies hung out. I made my self at home.

It's been a few days since I left Coach and I've never been happier. I've been getting drunk every night and it's been great. ''Yo Charlie, let's go for a ride.'' Pete said one night. We had all been drinking and I knew I shouldn't have but still I drove. We were all drunk and singing in the car having a party. I was so wasted I didn't see the light turn red or hear the horn beeping. I remember the crash, the pain. the blood. I heard the screams to call 911. Then everying went black.


	4. Flashbacks and Insults Part 1

AN- Ok I want to thank everyone for their reviews so far. I am trying to make these longer chaps, I really am. I'm sorry they are so short. I hope all the dreams are in italics. His dreams won't be told by his POV.

Connie, Adam and the rest of the team ran down the halls of the hospital not caring about the dirty looks they were getting from the doctors. They wanted to find their friend. Connie spotted Coach and the all ran over to him. ''What happened?'' asked Connie right away. ''Him and some kids got drunk and went for a joyride. Charlie was driving. The car crashed. Charlie's ok, he's just got some cuts and bruises. Pete Johnson wasn't so lucky. He was thrown from the car. He died instantly. Charlie could be in a lot of trouble for driving drunk but I was able to get him off. I explained everything that had happened so far and the judge agreed not to put him in juvenile hall. Instead, Charlie's got to go to therapy. A friend of mine recommended someone good.'' he told him. ''How's Charlie?'' Fulton asked. ''He's not up yet.'' Coach said. ''So we just wait?'' asked Julie. ''That's all we can do.'' Coach said.

I woke up in a hospital bed with, once again, no idea how I got there. I really need to stop that. The door opens and I see Coach peak in. He sees that I'm up and walk in. ''Hey Charlie, how you feeling?'' he asked me. ''I'm ok.'' I said. ''What happened?'' I asked. ''Well you were in a car accident Charlie. You were driving drunk.'' he said. ''What's going to happen to me?'' I asked, fearful I would get sent to prison. ''Nothing, I convinced a judge that, after everything that had happened to you, you just need a therapist to help.'' Coach told me. ''So I got to go see a shrink instead of community service?'' I asked. He nodded his head. I felt relived. Therapy wouldn't be so bad. ''How is everyone else?'' I asked. ''Well Ron's ok. He just needed a few stitches.'' Coach said. ''And Pete?'' I questioned. Coach was silent. ''What happened to Pete?'' I asked. ''He...he um...he didn't make it Charlie. He was killed.'' Coach said. I killed him? It was my fault, I was driving. ''Charlie, it wasn't your fault. You were just in a emotionally bad place.'' he told me. ''I'm kinda tired Coach. Can you let me sleep?'' I asked wanting to be alone. Coach left and I laid there thinking of what I had done.

Gordon walked out of the room and the ducks stood when they saw him. ''Can we see him?'' asked Connie immediately. ''No he's tired. I'm going to let him sleep.'' Coach said. Connie sighed with disappointment. ''Come on Connie, let's go get something to drink.'' Julie said. They went over to the vending machine.

Meanwhile as Charlie slept, he was transported to happier times

_Three year old Charlie Conway is fast asleep in his bed when his door flies open. ''Charlie sweetie, we have to go.'' Casey said, shaking her son awake. ''Why mommy?'' he asked. ''We are going away sweetie.''I already packed your stuff.'' she said. ''Is daddy coming with us?'' he asked. ''No sweetie. Daddy's not coming with us.'' Casey said grabbing her son and leaving her husband, soon to be ex, behind._

I woke up, shocked at my dream. I never remembered anything about that night before. My door opened and Guy stepped inside. ''Hey they said I should come wake you. How you doing?'' he asked me. ''How would you be doing if you killed someone?'' I asked him. ''I know you're upset but that is no reason to take it out on me.'' Guy said. ''Why don't you leave me alone and go find some girl to take away your frustrations. After all, that is what you do best, right Guy? No wonder Connie dumped you.'' Charlie said. Guy glared at him. ''Whatever Spazway.'' he said leaving. Charlie fell back into his pillow and hopefully back into his dreams.

Guy stormed out to the waiting room and the ducks looked up. ''Waht happened?'' Connie asked, looking at his face. ''He is an ass is what happened.'' Guy said leaving out the doors. The ducks glanced worriedly at each other.

_Five year old Charlie Conway is sitting in front of the TV watching a hockey game excitedly. ''Come on! Shoot the puck!'' he screamed. His team scored a goal and Charlie leapt into the air and danced in the living room. His mother, Casey, laughed at his display. ''Mommy mommy, we scored we scored!'' Charlie squealed. ''Congrats sweetie.'' his mom said. ''Mommy one day that is going to be me! I'm gonna be a great hockey player!'' he exclaimed._

I awoke again as my door opened. The Bash Brothers walked in. ''Hey Charlie how are you?'' Portman asked. I didn't say anything. I didn't want to talk to them. I didn't want to talk to anybody. ''Charlie, tell us what's wrong.'' Fulton said. ''Get out. I don't want to talk.'' I whispered. They heard me and obliged. Before they exited, Portman turned to me and said. ''Stop this pity party, Charlie it's annoying.'' I got mad. ''Screw you ok! You don't know anything about what happened. Get out!'' I shouted and they left.

The Bash Brother came out of the room. ''We agree with Guy. Charlie is being an ass.'' said Portman. ''We know he is upset, but must he bring it out on us?'' asked Fulton. They decided to go.

_Six year old Charlie is skating around on the old pond with his hockey team. They were shooting the puck and sucking as usual. ''Hey guys, I got an idea! Let's go to my house. My mom can make us hot cocoa and take a break.'' The team agree and they went to Charlie's house. His mom made hot cocoa and the team sat in the living room. ''I made you guys cookies.'' said Casey. The kids thanked her and began to eat. ''Hey Goldie, try to stop this.'' Jessie yelled and threw a cookie at Goldberg. He threw his cookie back and pretty soon, it was a full flegded cookie war. Charlie's mom ran into the room and looked around. She looked at Charlie and smiled. ''No more cookie wars you guys ok?'' she asked. They nodded and helped her pick up the living room. ''Now, who is up for a snowball war?'' Casey asked them. The kids cheered and ran outside._

I woke up with a smile on my face as I remember that day. The door opens and Goldie walks in. ''Hey Charlie, how's it go-'' he broke off seeing Charlie's angry face. ''Sorry.'' he said. ''Wow good save. What is it the first save of your life. As you are a goalie right?'' Charlie asked. Goldberg looked at him. ''God, Charlie. Why are you so mad at us. We're supposed to be your friends.'' he said before leaving. They didn't understand. Every time they came in, I was pulled from my dreams. I needed to see her, to hear her voice. They had to leave me alone.

Goldberg walked out of the room, shaking his head at the ducks before leaving.

_Nine year old Charlie is at his house setting the table for dinner with Coach. His mom walks in. ''Hello Gordon, I take it you are joining us for dinner?'' she asked. He nodded and they smiled at each other. Charlie smiled to himself. ''Um mom come sit down, you too Coach. I'll serve.'' he said. They sat and Charlie brought the food out. ''Um mom I forgot about some homework I've got to do. You guys eat. I'll have some later.'' Before Charlie left he hit the lights and lit the candles. ''We can't waste electricity.'' he said before running to his room. ''Well I think we've been set up Casey.'' Gordon said. ''Me too. Shall we eat?'' Casey asked. He nodded and they dove into a spaghetti dinner. They laughed and smiled at each other all threw dinner and Charlie watched with glee as him mom fell for his Coach._

I woke up again this time to Luis and Dwayne entering the room. ''Howdy Charlie.'' Dwayne said cheerfully. Luis smiled. ''Great not they send in the add on's.'' I said, not caring if they got mad. They did and Luis turned and left while Dwayne looked at me sadly before leaving too. I sat back into the pillows. Why didn't Coach call her. They could have been happy, they were that night.

Luis and Dwayne left the hospital not even checking in with the rest of the ducks. ''Why is he doing this? We are only trying to help.'' Connie said. ''He feels guilty about the accident. He wants to be alone. That's all I can come up with. I just hope he snaps out of it soon or he won't have many friends.'' Coach said. The left over ducks nodded their heads too.

AN- Coming up in the next chapter will be: Charlie is still in the hospital and will have more flashback/dreams and more insults for the ducks. Except for one. But who is it? Stay tuned to find out!

P.S. I am thinking about doing another MD/Dc crossover. Should I? I want your opinions. I'll probably be have Joey/Charlie, Pacey/Connie, Dawson/Andie, Jack/Jen and Julie/Adam parings if I do. Please let me know what you think.


	5. Flashbacks and Insults Part 2

The next day, Charlie was still at the hospital. Gordon had spent the night there, worrying about him and the attitude he had given his friends. If Charlie kept this up, he would hurt all the ones who cared about him. Adam, Russ, Averman, Ken, Julie, and Connie walked into the hospital looking for Gordon. The six were the only ones that didn't go visit Charlie the night before and didn't face his wrath. Adam gently shook Gordon awake. ''Hey guys, I'm surprised you're all here.'' he said sitting up. ''Well maybe Charlie is in a better mood.'' Connie said hopefully. The rest nodded. ''So who is going first?'' Gordon asked.

_11 year old Charlie is laying on his bed and looking at the clock every five seconds. He finally hears the door open and quietly sneaks into the living room. His mom enters, a guy right behind her. ''Well I had a fun time, James.'' Casey said, kissing the guy on the cheek. ''Me too Casey. You know, this ngith doesn't have to end right away. I don't have to be at work until 11 tomorrow.'' James said tugging on her hand, bringing her closer. ''I can't James, you know about Charlie. What would I tell him?'' Casey asked. ''Casey, don't get me wrong, I love that kid but we have been dating for a couple of years now, he should be used to me by now.'' James said. ''I love you James, but I can't. Please understand.'' Casey said. James nodded his head and kissed her goodnight. _

I awoke to find Ken standing in my door. ''Hi Charlie, hope you slept well.'' he said. I just starred at him, not saying anything. ''So anything new?'' he asked, trying to lighten the mood. Apparently he didn't get the idea. ''How are you feeling?'' he asked. ''Ken, if you haven'y noticed, I was ignoring you for a reason. GET OUT!'' I yelled at him. He hurried from the room. Passing the ducks, he shrugged and left.

_12 year old Charlie was dressed in his finest suit, which happened to be rented, sitting in a church. Today was his mom's wedding to James Carter, her three year boyfriend. James had proposed a few months ago and his mom had gladly said yes. Charlie liked James, he really did, but how he wished it was Coach that was stading at the alter instead. The music started and Charie watched his mom walk down the aisle in a beautiful wedding gown. She reached James and the ceremony began. ''You may kiss the bride.'' the minister said, ending the ceremony. James leaned down to kiss her and they ran down the aisle together to the cheers of the auidence, even the half-hearted ones of Charlie._

I awoke once again to the sound of a door opening. Coming into the room was Les Averman a very old friend of mine. I wanted him to leave. ''Hey Charlie, what's going on?'' he asked me. ''We miss you during practice.'' he said. Hockey, I thought closing my eyes, that was another reminder of mom. I leaned back into my pillow with my eyes still closed, hoping he got the idea. He did, for he left the room, the door closing behind him. Averman walked to the other ducks. ''He pretty much ignored me.'' he said deciding to leave.

_12 year old Charlie was sitting in his room listening to the music blasting out of his cd player. He heard a faint noise that sounded vagly like a duck. He stopped listening. It came again and he went to the window. Looking down he spotted his old Coach. Gordon waved him down and Charlie grabbed his skates, slipped them on and bolted from the apartment. ''Hey Coach.'' he said hugging the man. ''Boy Charlie, you sure have grown.'' Coach said. ''So are you ready to round up some ducks?'' he asked, handing Charlie and duck call. Charlie nodded and skated off. _

The opened and I woke up just as Julie walked into the room. ''Hi Charlie.'' she said. I nodded to her. She beamed obviously pleased. ''So what are you doing?'' she asked. ''I'm walking the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, what do you think I'm doing. I'm laying hospitol bed trying to sleep, but can't since you guys can't seem to stop interupting me.'' I said. Julie turned and left. Passing the ducks she shook her head and took a seat next to Russ. ''I'm not leaving.'' she declared.

_12 year old Charlie Conway skated around the empty arena soaking it all in. They were team USA in the Junior Goodwill Games. He couldn't believe it. Charlie heard the door open and looked up to see Coach enter. ''Looks like we had the same idea.'' he joked skating over to me. ''Yeah I guess.'' I said. ''So Charlie, how is your mom?'' he asked. ''She's ok. She got remarried.'' Charlie told him. ''Yeah I heard. Do you like the guy?'' he asked. ''He's ok.'' Charlie said, resuming the skate. He got uncomfortable with the questions. Gordon nodded and skated too._

Russ entered my room and got right to the point. ''Look Charlie, I know you've been acting like a total jerk. But you'd better not act that way around me.'' he said. ''You can't tell me what to do. I can act anyway I want. Now get the hell out of my room!'' I yelled at him. ''Screw you Conway!'' he yelled back, storming out the room. He walked to the ducks. ''Well we had a shouting match. I agree with Julie, I'm not leaving.'' he said sitting down.

_14 year old Charlie Conway was sitting in the living room watching TV. He heard the mail drop through the slot and went to get it. ''Bills, bills, junk mail, junk mail, bills.'' Charlie said flipping through the stack. He came to a letter adressed to him and opened it. Inside was a piece of paper. It read:_

_Dear Mr. Conway,_

_Due to your talents in hockey, Eden Hall Acadamy has chosen you to recieve a full paid scholarship. Please send your answer via letter. We will be pleased if you attend._

_Charlie was shocked, he had never recieved a letter like this. His mom entered the apartment and saw the letter in his hand. ''What's that sweetie?'' she asked. He handed her the letter and she read it. ''Charlie, I'm so proud of you!'' she said, hugging in close. Charlie smilied knowing this was a lot for his mom. They had had a pretty crummy year. Her and James had gotten divorced after he had been caught cheating on her. He hugged his mom closer. _

Adam walked into my room and said nothing. We sat in silence for a few mintues. ''Well aren't you going to say anything?'' I asked. He shook his head. ''Fine then you can go.'' I said. ''I feel sorry for you Charlie. After all this, you're going to need your friends but we arn't going to be here since you chased us all away.'' he finally said, leaving my room. Adam took his seat next to Connie. ''It's your turn. Are you ready?'' he asked her. ''As ready as I'll ever be.'' Connie said.

_14 year old Charlie Conway skated around the ice cheering. They had won the final game, they had beaten varsity! He spotted his mom at the door to the ice and skated over to her. ''We did it mom, we won!'' He screamed hugging her. Looking into his eyes she said, ''I'm proud of you Charlie.'' ''I love you mom.'' Charlie said. ''You go have fun.'' she told him and he nooded his head. Looking into the crowd, he caught Gordon's eye and he nodded at him. Charlie nodded back. Coach turned his head toward the score board. Looking over, Charlie saw a huge banner with the ducks logo drap over the score. He smilied and looked back at his old Coach, nodding his head once more before joining the ducks._

The door opened again and I watched as Connie entered the room. ''Hi Charlie.'' she said, sitting on the chair next to the bed. For some reason, I felt no anger towards her. In fact, I was happy she was here. ''Hey Cons.'' I said back, offering her a weak smile. ''How are you feeling?'' she asked me. ''Ok, I guess. Do you know anything about this shrink I'm supposed to be meeting?'' I asked her. ''No, sorry Charlie.'' she said. ''They hate me, don't they?'' I asked. ''No, they're just really angry and you can't blame them Charlie, you did act like a total jerk to all of them.'' she said. ''You think they will forgive me?'' I asked. I knew I had been a jerk to them, but what Adam had said stuck. I needed them, as horrible to them as I was, I still needed them. ''I'm sure they will, Spazway.'' she said smiling at me. I smilied back, suddenly feeling a lot better. I had no clue weather or not it was because of the chance of the ducks forgiving me or if it was Connie's smile.

A nurse entered the room and told Connie I needed my sleep. ''Ok then I'll see you later Spazway.'' she said, leaning down to kiss my cheek. She left and I fell into a deep sleep. This time, however, I didn't dream about my mom. I dreamt about Connie. Connie walked into the waiting room with a smile on her face a mile wide. ''He wasn't jerk to me. We actually talked.'' she said. Lying down on the couch, she soon fell asleep, her dreams starring a certain Captain Duck.


	6. Meeting Bethany Foxworth

I finally got out of the hospital. Only Connie and Coach were there for my homecoming. Tomorrow, I have to go meet my therapist, Bethany Foxworth. Connie and I decide to watch movies for a while. I make popcorn and settle down on the couch. My arm casually slips around Connie while she digs her hand into the bowl. She does't seem to mind since she lies her head on my shoulder. It always feels so peaceful with her.

The next morning, Coach drives me to the building where she is. We walk inside and find out where she is at. Coach drops me off at the room and, after taking a deep breath, knock on the door. ''Come in.'' a cheerful voice calls. I open the door and walk inside. It's a fairly large room. There are many bookcases filled with books and one of those couches you always see on those therapy shows on TV. A tall women with long, curly brown hair is sitting at her desk. She wears glasses and a thoughful expression on her face as she watches me.

''Hello, you must be Charlie Conway, I'm Bethany Foxworth. Welcome.'' she said. ''Hi Mrs. Foxworth.'' I said. ''Oh please call me Bethany. Sit down Charlie.'' she told me. I sat down on the couch and she took the chair next to it. ''So Charlie, tell me about yourself.'' she said.

''Well what do you want to know?'' I asked. ''How old are you?'' she asked. ''I'm 17 and I'm in Junior year. I'll graduate next year.'' I told her. She scribbled down something on her notepad and looked at me again. ''What do you do in your spare time?'' she asked. ''I play hockey and hang out with my friends.'' I told her. ''Who are your friends?'' she asked. ''My entire hocky team.'' I reply. She writes something down. ''Can you tell me about them?'' she asked.

''Well sure. See I grew up with most of them. The rest came on the team when we played in the Junior Goodwill Games. There are 12 of them. I grew up with Guy, Averman, Goldberg, Adam, Fulton, and Connie. Julie, Dwayne, Luis, Russ, Ken, and Portman all came on the team afterwards.'' I told her. ''Tell me about each of them.'' she said.

''Well Guy Germaine and I met when I was five. Some big kid and his friend were pushing me down on the playground and Guy ran over to help me. Together we were able to push them both down and run away. We were best friends ever since.

Les Averman and I meet when he was getting picked on the same kid and Guy and I went to his rescue. We all became the three muskateers.'' Bethany wrote down some more stuff and nodded her head, urging to continue.

''Greg Goldberg and I met when he moved to Minnisota and tried out for our golie. Though he does suck, we became fast friends.

Adam Banks was a hawk player when we were little and our teams we sworn enemys. On a technacality, Adam became a duck and the two of us became best friend. Jessie wasn't too happy with it.'' I said. ''Who's Jessie?'' asked Bethany.

Jessie was my friend since we played as District Five. We grew up togehter. After the goodwill games he moved away. He wasn't too happy that I became best friends with a hawk.

Fulton Reed was a kid who stuck up for us when the hawks would pick on us. Coach discovered his hockey ability and pretty soon he was on the team.'' I told her.

''Ok How about the newer kids?'' she asked me. ''Julie is our best golie. She can stop any puck and is very fast in the net. She is an amazing player.'' I said. ''You sound impressed'' Bethany stated. ''Julie is like a sister to me. I'll always be impressed with her talents.'' I told her.

''Luis Mendoza is a great speed skater. He's the fastest on our team. Dwayne Robertson is the best puck handler we have though he is a bit of a show off. Ken Wu used to be a figure skater but now he's a pretty good hockey player.'' I said. She scribbled more stuff down. ''So who's Russ?'' she asked.

Russ Tyler was an annoying kid who would not stop insulting team USA. He challenged us to a game on the courts one day. When Adam's arm got injured during a game, I brought Russ in to help. Adam got better so I helped Coach out so that Russ could play. I was a crappy player back then anyway.'' I told her. She laughed a little. ''Dean Portman is our other bash brother. Him and Fulton rule the ice and can knock anyone down.'' I told her.

''Who's Connie?'' she asked. A small smile came to my face as I thought of Connie. She took notice. ''Connie is the girl next door in my life. She and I have been best friends my whole life. She is the only one I haven't snapped at.'' I told her. ''Why do you think that is?'' she asked. ''I don't feel angry around her. I feel happy and peaceful. She makes me smile all the time.'' I told her.

''Who is Coach?'' she asked me. ''Gordon Bombay became our pee wee coach when he had to have commuity service. Pretty soon him and I became great friends. He was like the dad I always wanted. Him and my mom dated.'' I told her. ''Really what happened.'' she asked. ''He got into the Minors and never called. She moved onto James. They got married, he cheated they divorced. I would have loved to have seen Coach and mom together but that's never going to happen.'' I said.

''What can you tell me about your mom?'' she asked. ''My mom was my greatest fan. She supported me in everything I did and made sure I had a good education. She came to every hockey game no matter how much we sucked and taped my games when we were in Goodwill. She was so proud of me when I got into Eden Hall. I always liked making her proud.'' I said.

''Well Charlie, that's all the time we have today. I'll see you soon.'' Bethany said. I said goodbye and left. I arrived home and Coach looked up from the couch hopefully. ''How did it go?'' he asked. ''It was ok.'' I said heading to my room. ''You've got a visitor waiting for you.'' he told me. Puzzled, I went to my room and saw Connie waiting for me. ''Hey Spaz, how did therapy go?'' she asked me. ''It was ok. We talked about all the ducks, Coach, and mom.'' I told her, lying down on the bed.

She flopped next to me and said, ''So what did you say about me?'' she asked. ''That you were the most annyoing person I ever met.'' She glared at me and tackled me as I started laughing. She rolled off me and said, ''Well your annoying.'' I laughed. ''Yes I am.'' I told her. We watched the little TV in my room for a while when I noticed she was being really quiet. I looked down and discovered she was sleeping. I sighed. She looked so beautiful in her sleep. I new something was changing between us. Whenever I thought of her, I instantly cheered up and a smile came to my face.

We couldn't be anything more then friends though. I was too messed up for anything more. I shut off the TV and drapped an arm over Connie. She turned on her side and snuggled up into me, her head under my chin, her hand on my chest. I pulled her closer, settling for the comfort I felt aroud her. I kissed her forehead lightly. ''Sweet dreams Cons.'' I whispered before drifting off myself.


	7. A Day With Connie

_''Come on Charlie, go faster!'' screamed Pete. I pushed the gas pedel down harder and the speed accilarated. We sped down the road, cheering our heads off. ''Here Charlie, take a sip of beer.'' Ron told me, handing me a bottle. I grabbed it and drank it down in one gulp. ''That's good stuff!'' I cheered. Suddenly a huge truck crashed into Pete's side sending the car 12 feet away._

_''Charlie, Charlie.'' A voice was calling. Opening up my eyes, I saw Pete standing there. ''It's your fault. You killed me Charlie. You killed me.'' he said before disapearing._

''My fault, my fault. I killed him. No, I killed him.'' I kept mumbling in my sleep. ''Charlie, Charlie. Wake up!'' Connie said, shaking me awake. ''What happened.'' I asked sitting up. ''You were having a nightmare. Charlie, do you dream about the crash a lot?'' asked Connie.

''Of course I do. It's my fault Cons. I was driving. I killed Pete.'' I told her. ''No Charlie, it was an accident. It's not your fault.'' She told me. ''I'm gonna go take a shower so I'll talk to you later.'' I said standing up and grabbing my towel. I didn't need her telling me it wasn't my fault. I knew it was. ''Ok, but I'm coming back later. We'll hang out. Ok?'' she asked. ''Ok.'' I told her.

Connie entered her dorm room and saw Julie sitting on her bed. ''Hey Jules. What's up?'' Connie asked her. ''Where were you last night?'' she asked. ''I spent the night at Charlie's.'' Connie told her. ''You what!'' Julie exclaimed. ''I went to see how his therapy went, we watched TV, I fell asleep. It's no big deal.'' Connie said, laying down on her bed. ''Why do you spend so much time with him Connie?'' Julie asked.

''He let's me in. I want to help him Julie. I want to bring him back.'' Connie said. ''Cons, that's not it. I know you too well. I saw that smile on your face when he talked to you in the hospital. Your feelings for him are changing, aren't they?'' she asked. ''I don't know what you're talking about. I got to go and pick up Charlie. We're hanging out today. I'll talk to you later.'' Connie said, leaving.

I sat on the couch waiting for Connie to arrive. Coach walked into the room. ''So where are you going Charlie?'' he asked. ''Me and Connie are hanging out.'' I told him. The door bell rang and I got up to get it. Opening the door and seeing Connie, I grabbed my coat and we left. ''So where are you dragging me?'' I asked her. ''Nope today it's whatever you want to do.'' she told me.

I decided we should get some ice cream for lunch. We went to ''Mcmils House of Ice Cream'' and I chose chocolate while Connie got vanilla. ''How can you like an ice cream that's so plain?'' I asked her. ''How can you like an ice cream that always makes you thirsty?'' she asked me back. This was our thing, we would always argue about ice cream flavors.

We finished out ice creams and I was thirsty so I took told Connie we should get something to drink. She smirked at me and told me she knew just the place to go. She took me to Micky's Dinner. ''Cons, what are we doing here?'' I asked. My mom worked here and I just wasn't ready to go in. ''You need to do this Charlie, you need closure.'' she told me, dragging me inside. We entered the dinner and my mom's old friend Tasha looked at me kindly. ''Hello sweetheart, the usual?'' she asked.

I nodded and me and Connie went to sit down. While we were waiting, the door opened and the ducks walked in. Adam spotted me and pretty soon the rest did too. We all stared at each other for a few seconds, though it felt like a lifetime. The ducks broke the gaze and went to sit down. Our food came and I shoveld it down, not wanting to stay here much longer. We quickly ate and paid. Walking out of the dinner, I glanced at the ducks but none were looking back.

Connie and I left the dinner and I led her to the old school playground. We walked to the swings and sat down. ''You ok Charlie?'' she asked me. ''They wouldn't even talk to me and they barley looked at me. Can't say I blame them though, I did act like a jerk to them. I wouldn't be surprised if they never spoke to me again.'' I said, starting to swing. I pumped my legs harder and harder, wanting to leave this world behind as I soared through the air.

''Charlie, slow down!'' Connie yelled to me and I did. ''You've got to make the first move with them. Tell them you're sorry.'' she told me after I had stopped swinging. ''What if they don't listen?'' I asked. ''They will, they're your best friends no matter what.'' she told me. ''I'm just glad I got you, Connie. I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here.'' I told her. She smlied broadly at me and I smilied back. ''That's good to know Spazway.'' Connie said standing up and pushing me off the swing. I jumped up and started chasing her around the playground.

Soon we were tired out and we fell to the grass laughing. ''You still can't catch me Charlie.'' Connie laughed. ''Nah, I let you go. Didn't want to embaress you.'' I said. She smacked me on the arm and giggled. ''You're such a jerk sometimes, you know that right?'' she asked me. ''Of course.'' I told her. ''Come on, I thought of another place to go.'' I said standing up and grabbing her hand, pulling her up.

I took her to the old ice pond that I would skate around when I was little. The two of us laced up our skates and soared around the rink. ''Hey Connie, Thanks for hanging out with me.'' I said. ''You're my best friend, there is no where else I'd rather be.'' Connie told me. I decided to get her back for that comment earlier so I charged at her on the ice. She turned just in time to block herself as I crashed into her, sending us both to the ice in a heap. ''What is your problem Charlie!'' she said, laughing along with me.

Our laughter soon died down, however, when we saw how close we really were. I had ended up on top of her, our faces inches away. She looked so beautiful, I couldn't help myself. I leaned down, closed my eyes and brushed my lips againest hers in a slow, serching kiss. I slowly raised my head, breaking the kiss, and stared down at her. Her eyes were closed and her mouth opened slightly. I stood up quickly and helped her to her feet. We just stared at each other. ''I'm sorry Connie I shouldn't have done that.'' I said.

''Why not?'' she asked me. ''I'm too screwed up right to be anymore then friends. I don't want to hurt you.'' I told her. ''That's what your doing right now.'' she said. ''I'm sorry Cons but I can't.'' I said skating off the ice and heading home. I arrived home to see Coach sitting on the couch. ''Can I talk to you?'' I asked him. He nodded. ''I kissed Connie.'' I told him. ''That's great Charlie.'' he told me. ''No it's not. I told her we couldn't be anything more then friends. I'm too screwed up for her Coach. I'm too scared.'' I said. ''Charlie, you've got to let Connie make her own decisions. If she feels ready to have a relationship with you, then you need to let her. Don't be scared Charlie, you love her right?'' I nodded my head. ''Then tell her. don't be afraid to be happy.'' he said. ''Thanks Coach.'' I said going to my room.

Connie walked into her dorm and Julie noticed her red eyes right away. ''What's wrong Connie?'' she asked. ''Charlie kissed me but he says we can only be friends.'' Connie said sitting down next to her. ''You love him, don't you?'' Julie asked. Connie nodded. ''Then you've got to tell him. You can't just let him go. The Connie I know fights for what she wants.'' Julie said, placing a comforting arm around her.

After my talk with Coach, I go to my room and lie down on my bed. _I love her. I love Connie Moreau. I'm just too damn scared to tell her. What happenes if I lose her? What happens if I lose the most important person to me? I'm too messed up to have anything good, I'll ruin it with her. I know I will. She's got to understand. No matter how much I love her, she derserves someone who's not like me._

Connie was lying down on her bed in deep thought. _I have to let Charlie know that I love him. He's not too messed up for me like he said. I need him and I know he needs me. I love him. I love Charlie Conway. I just got to let him know. I can't let him shut me out._

AN- Will these two crazy kids tell each other how they really feel? Will the ducks ever forgive Charlie? Stay tuned to find out!


	8. Breakdown in the Office

I woke up to the smell of bacon and eggs. I rose from my bed and headed downstairs. Coach was cooking breakfast and it smelled delicious. ''Morning Charlie.'' he said seeing me. I sat down and he served me my food. I took and bite and sighed. ''It's great Coach.'' I told him. ''Well you eat up, you've got therapy today.'' he told me. I winced, I hated therapy. After I ate, I ran upstaris to get ready to go.

I walked over to Bethany's office and waited outside her room. This was going to take a while. While I waited, my thoughts turned to Connie. A smile formed as I remembered her laugh, her smile. I quickly shook the thoughts out of my head. Connie was a no-no. I'd just hurt her. My name is called and I walk inside.

''Hello Charlie, it's good to see you again.'' she says to me. ''It's fine.'' I say, sitting down on the familer couch. ''So how have you been Charlie?'' she wonders, notebook poised ready to write. ''I've been good.'' I say. She sences I'm holding back. ''What's wrong?'' she asks. ''Nothing. Ok, God. Why does everyone think something is always wrong!'' I exclaim. ''Calm down, that's not what I meant.'' she says. ''I just want to know how you are.'' Bethany says.

''I'm fine.'' I say, standing up and walking to the window. ''So have you and Connie been hanging out?'' she wonders. I wince slightly but she still sees it. It gets her attention. ''What happened with Connie?'' she asks. ''Nothing, nothing at all.'' I tell her dully. ''Charie, your holding back. What are you hiding. You know, the sooner you tell me and sooner we can end this sessions.'' she says.

''Connie and I have stopped talking.'' I tell her. ''Why?'' she questions. ''Because I kissed her and then told her we couldn't be anything.'' I say. ''Why did you tell her that?'' she asks. ''Because it's true! I am too screwed up. She deseves a guy who doesn't go to therapy. Who doesn't need help. Who didn't kill someone and is reminded of it every night!'' I scream.

''What do you mean?'' she asks. ''I've been having this same nightmare every night. We're driving in the car and we crash. I get knocked out and wake up to see Pete standing over me saying it's my fault. I killed him and it's the truth. It's my fault. Then on nights when I don't wake up from it right away, I see my mom waling towards me on the street.

She looks at me and then at the mess that is the car and she shacks her head like she is dissapointed with me. I let her down.'' I say starting to sob, the long held up pain washing out. I sink to the floor and hear Bethany walk over to me. She embraces me and tells me it's ok.

After my crying spree, Bethany sent me home. I walk inside and there is Coach waiting for me like he always does. ''Hey Coach.'' I say. ''Hey Charlie, how was it?'' he asks. ''Good we talked and I got some stuff off my chest.'' I say. ''Have you decided what to do about Connie?'' he wonders. ''No, I don't know what to do.'' I tell him. ''But Coach, I do have something to tell you.'' I say. He mutes and TV and listens to me with open ears.

''I'm sorry for what a jerk I have been. Ever since the accident I have been a brat and well you didn't deserve it. You took me in and cared for me like is was your son. I always wanted you for a dad and I'm sorry I didn't act like it more. Thank you Coach.'' I tell him.

He smilies at me. ''You don't have to thank me Charlie, I was happy doing it. I always wanted to call you my son.'' he says. We hug and I go up to my room. Laying down on my bed I realize I have to apologize to the ducks as soon as possible. Tomorrow I will and I'll hope to god they forgive me. And I've got to talk to Connie, make her understand that I didn't want to hurt her, I just can't be with her without hurting her.


	9. Well Awaited Apologies

I wake up the next morning with a mission. I don't even stop to eat breakfast. I deserve hunger right now. The first stop will be all my district five team mates except for Adam and Connie. They will be last.

My first stop was Guy's house. I knock on the door and he answears it. With a scowl, he greets me. ''What do you want Charlie?'' he asked. ''I'm sorry for being a jerk and for saying that remark. You're not a player, Connie was lucky to be with you. I really hope you don't plan on hating me for the rest of my life because I may need your help if a bully arrises.'' I said. He smilies and said ''It's about time Spazway.'' He nods at me letting me know he excepts it and I run off to my next stop.

Fulton and Portman are at the old courtyard playing two on two making it easier for me. ''Hey guys.'' I said walking over to them. ''Look I know you're probably too ticked at me to care, but I'm sorry. I didn't mean to act like a jerk and I hope you forgive me.'' I said. They don't say anything so I turned around and began to walk away. ''Hey Charlie.'' Fulton calls. I turn around and look at them. ''We forgive you, Spazway.'' they say in unison. I laugh and walk away to me next destination.

I walk into Goldbergs Deli and see him mopping the floor. ''Hey Goldie, look I know you're probably really mad at me but I want to say I'm sorry. You are the best golie we have and you're a great hockey player. Can you forgive me?'' I asked. ''I guess so.'' Goldie says. ''Thanks.'' I say walking out.

I walk to Les's house and see him ouside raking leaves. ''Hey Les. I'm sorry for being such a jerk lately. Could you forgvie me?'' I asked. ''You're forgiven just don't let it happen again.'' he tells me. I nod and head off.

I walk over to the dorms, knowing the rest of the team will be there. I knock on Kenand Dwyane's room first. Dwayne answers it. ''Howdy Charlie. Come on in.'' he says stepping aside. ''Look guys, I didn't mean the whole add-ons comment. I'm really sorry about it, and I'm sorry for being a jerk. Maybe you could forgive me?'' I asked. ''We suppose.'' Luis says and I nod and leave.

I went over to Ken and Russ's room next. I knock and hear a muffled come in over the loud music coming out. I enter and look around. Russ is laying on his bed and Ken is tryin gto study on his. ''Hey guys!'' I shout loud enough for them to hear me. Russ turns the music down and they both look at me. ''I'm sorry for acting liek a complete jerk to you guys and I hope that you will fin dit in your hearts to forgive me?'' I asked. ''I forgive you Charlie.'' Ken says. Russ nodded his head. ''I guess I can too.'' he tells me. I nid my thanks and set out to find the reamining three.

I knock on Julie and Connie's door praying Connie isn't there. Julie answers it and allows me in. ''I'm sorry for being a jerk to you Julie, can you forgive me for being a moran?'' I asked. She smilies at me and says ''Of course I can Charlie.'' before hugging me. We break apart and I leave to find Adam and Connie.

I find Adam in the areana practcing. Somehow, I'm not surprised. ''Hey Banksie!'' I yell to get his attention. He looks over at me and skates over. ''What do you want Charlie?'' he asked. ''To say I'm sorry for being a jerk to you. You're my best friend man, I want you to forgive me. Can you?'' I asked. ''I can Spazway, just don't ever do this again or I'll let the Bash Brothers kick your butt.'' he says and I laugh. I turn to go and hear Adam shout after me ''Connie's at home if you're looking for her!''

Before I go see Connie, there is one thing I have to do. I go to Bethany's office and,since there is no wait, I go right in. ''Charlie, now isn't this a surprise.'' Bethany says. ''Yeah well I just wanted to say, I'm ok now. I don't need this anymore. I apologized to Coach and the ducks and well I'm going to be ok. So I just wanted to say goodbye.'' I tell her. ''Goodbye Charlie, I'm always here if you need me.'' she tells me. I nod and walk out, running to Connie's house.

I bang on her door over and over until finally, her mom answers it. ''If you are looking for Connie, she went skating on the old ice pond.'' she tells me. I quickly turn and run. I arrive at the pond and see her skating around. She looks so beautiful. Turning on the ice, she see me and freezes. I skate over to her. ''Hey Cons, I just want to say thank you for being my friend through all this and that I'm sorry I hurt you. It's just that I love you and I don't want to hurt you and I just...'' ''I love you too, Charlie.'' she says. ''...And I'd hate to lose you and what?'' I asked.

''I said I love you too Charlie.'' she tells me again, skating closer to me and kissing me right on the lips. Her arms wrap around my neck and I wrap mine around her waist, bringing her closer to me. Her fingers wind their way into my hair my hand moves up to the small of her back. The sounds of cheering and whistling bring us back down to Earth as we break apart and see the ducks cheering us on.

I laugh and turn towards her smiling. She beams at me and I embrace her close to me. ''I'm sorry for being idiot.'' I whisper into her hair. ''Your forgiven, as long as you never do this again.'' she tells me. I chuckle and bring her lips to mine again.


	10. Epilouge

It's been a year since mom died. I miss her every day of my life. It's been a long year full of anger, angest, and even love. As I sit here at her grave, something I haven't done since she died, I realize how much I have grown. Sighing I look at her grave.

''Hey mom, I miss you. I really miss you. Ever since you died, my whole life changed. At first I was so closed off to the ducks and Coach. Then I got into drinking. I know you're probably disapointed in me about that.Then I got into that car accident and killed Pete. Then I went to therapy. I was finally able to apoligize to the ducks and Coach and somewhere along the line, I fell in love with Connie. It's been a strange year and I really wish you had been here to help me out. I'm graduating today and I know you will be watching over me. I'll always love you mom, forever and ever.'' I said.

I hear footsteps behind and turn around to see Connie walk towards me. ''Hey Charlie, you ok?'' she asked. I nodded my head, stood up, said goodbye to my mom, and walked over to her. She hugged and and kissed my cheek. We walked off to my car hand in hand.

We arrived at the school where the ducks were waiting for me and got into our gowns. We all group together to wait for our diplomas. One by one we are called up there. When my name is announced Connie kisses me and I walk onto the stage. I shook my principle's hand, take my diploma and look to where Coach is at. He nods proudly and for a brief second, I feel a blast of sunlight hit me and I know she's proud of me.

The after party was at Connie's house in her backyard. I look over at Connie and see her looking at me. I smile and she walks over to me. ''Can I talk to you?'' I ask her. She nods her head and I lead her away from the ducks. ''Ok you know how you're going to Boston University?'' I asked. She nodded. ''Well I got into Boston Bay College. We will be near each other.'' I say. Her eyes light up and I know is as relieved as I am. We both thought I wasn't going to college near her since my letter hadn't come. ''I'm glad. I can't go to college without you. I love you Charlie.'' she says kissing me. ''I love you too Cons.'' I whisper againest her lips as the wind blow around as, showing me my mom is as happy as me.


End file.
